


A Demon in my Heaven

by SoulEatsSouls



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst, Bitter!Kaz, Jealousy, Kaz is still not over it, M/M, Slight OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4875940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulEatsSouls/pseuds/SoulEatsSouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Big Boss pays a secret visit to the Diamond Dogs mother base. Kaz isn't too happy upon his arrival.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Demon in my Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Of course, spoilers for The Phantom Pain.

Kazuhira was sat in his office, pen scribbling down numbers on his paper. He occasionally looked over at a calculator then continued writing. He heard a knock at the door and Ocelot walked in, with a soldier trailing behind him.

"Commander," Ocelot spoke in greeting, Kaz just nodded. "I have a new recruit here, already causing trouble. I thought you may want to tell him how things work around here." Ocelot held his hands behind his back, that relaxed yet calculating look on his face.

"Can't you just throw him in the brig like usual?" Kaz asked, a skeptical eyebrow raised. He looked over the soldier. He was well-built, dressed in standard Diamond Dogs uniform. His face covered with a balaclava, as well as some dark tinted goggles. No, that wasn't suspicious at all.

"We've tried that." Ocelot continued. "I just feel it's better you have a word with him."

"Fine." Kaz sighed. Ocelot looked at the soldier and held his hand out in front of him. "He's all yours." With that, he walked out and closed the door. The two stared at each other as they listened to Ocelot's spurs fade away down the hall.

"So," He began with the usual speech he gave to new comers. He stood up, grabbing his crutch and limped around to the front of his desk. "I know it was a bit abrupt bringing you here, but soon you'll realise..." His voice faded to silence when the man removed his goggles then his mask, revealing the face of a man all too familiar, and yet, different. Big Boss.

"Kaz." Boss had a small smile on his face as he greeted his old friend. Kaz didn't smile back. Snake expected that, but that didn't stop it from hurting when the look of surprise was replaced with rage. He also expected to be punched in the face, but he didn't expect Kaz to hit him in the head with his crutch. He hissed and rubbed the part of his head where the metal had connected.

"Get out." Kaz finally managed to force out. "Get the fuck out!"

"Kaz, let me--"

"Don't! Call me that!" Kaz said through clenched teeth. His eyes were burning holes through Big Boss' head. "It's Miller to you."

Snake just smiled. "Miller." It tasted weird on his tongue, but he'd endure it. "I see Diamond Dogs are coming along nicely."

"What are you doing here?" Kaz asked, his voice low. The bitter sweet voice of Big Boss was making his blood boil, and the fact that he thinks he can just waltz in here. Into his home, he has another thing coming.

"To check on the place, see how everything was coming along." He looked at Kaz, his blue eye growing soft. "To see you, I missed you." Kaz couldn't tell if he was being sincere or mocking.

"Where were you then?"

"I see you built you're own quarantine platform. Good to know you're as cautious as ever."

"Where were you?" Was he being too quiet or was Snake avoiding the question like he did everything else nowadays.

"Ocelot told me about Skull Face. So, you finally got your revenge, huh?" Kaz's hand was balled into a fist, his heart beating so rapidly it was making him deaf.

"Why did you leave me?"

"Kaz--"

"Where were you!?" Kaz basically screamed in Snake's face. "How could you leave...." He stopped himself before he could finish the sentence, worried he may break down crying if he did.

"I'm building our future, the future we dreamed about." Snake finally answered, in a low tone, keeping his cool.

"Our future," Kaz spat out. "What a fucking joke." He looked away, shaking his head.

"I was given an opportunity to finally make our dream a reality and I took it. I did it for us." Snake took as step forward, lifting his hand to place it on Kaz' cheek, but the blond just stepped away from him, bumping into his desk behind him. Snake let his hand fall back to his side.

"No no no, you took that opportunity because you're a coward. You've become the very man you despised." Kaz glared at Snake through his aviators. "Using soldiers, your men, as pawns for your own selfish needs." Kaz's tone was dangerous, and Snake stayed quiet, giving him a scowl to rival the one behind dark glasses. "That man out there, your so-called _phantom_ , he had a life, a family, memories.... and you took it all away from him just so you could mold him into a decoy, a target, that all your enemies could aim their guns at, while you ran in the other direction. You're a monster."

"It's what needed to be done."

"No, what needed to be done was you staying with you're men. Rebuilding, and taking revenge against the man who destroyed our home." Kaz could feel his eyes stinging, and praised his glasses for not giving it away. "You have no idea what I've been through these 9 years. Things I did, the missions I went on, just to keep you safe in that hospital." He let out a laugh, bitter and void of any humour. "Only to find out, you weren't even there!"

"But I was there. He was there. He is me."

"He's nothing like you." Kaz ground out through his teeth. "Maybe upon first glance, but he's more of a man than you'll ever be." His vision was beginning to blur. "I gave you my life. I followed you into battles, stood by you when no one else would, I gave you everything." He clutched at his shoulder, where is arm used to be, that familiar ache making it's presence again. "I've realised recently that it will never be enough. All you do is take and take, never giving anything back. Nothing I give you will ever be enough."

"Kaz..." Snake began, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. He swiftly pulled the balaclava back over his head. Kaz quickly rubbed his eyes to get rid of any forming tears.

"Come in." Kaz called out. The door opened to reveal Venom, as if the _phantoms_ ears were burning from the conversation.

"Kaz, do you have a moment?" Venom Snake's voice sounded just like the other Snake in the room, but slightly different, slightly more... Innocent. His eye flickered between the two men, faintly concerned.

"Uh yeah." Kaz sniffed. "Yeah, let's talk outside." Kaz begun to make his way towards the door, giving a quick glance to the man in the balaclava. "We're done here." Before Snake could protest, the door was slammed in his face.

Snake put his goggles back on his face and left the office, following after Kaz and Venom's retreating backs. He stayed far away enough for them not to notice him and kept his footsteps light, a habit he's never been able to break. When they turned a corner, he made his way there, leaning up against the wall. He looked around it and they were already turning another corner. He quickly followed after them. The mask and goggles were obscuring his vision a little. He didn't notice a small, blond child run around the corner until he ran straight into him. The boy bounced back and onto the floor with an 'oof'. Snake glared down at the boy who was rubbing his face.

"Watch where you're going, kid." The boy looked up at that, and Snake felt a strange shiver crawl up his spine. The child narrowed his eyes at him, as if trying to look past his disguise. ' _He looks like...'_

"ELI!" They both turned to the sound of a yelling soldier.

"This isn't over." The boy, Eli, said in a strong English accent, as he got up and continued running. A Diamond Dog soldier running after him. ' _Eli?'_ Snake thought to himself. ' _That would mean.... No._ ' Snake shook his head and continued after Kaz.

 

* * *

 

 

Snake had lost Kaz and V, and was know stood on a third floor platform, one out of the way where no one could see him. Good, he needed a smoke. His balaclava was lifted above his face and resting on his head. He inhaled the smoke of his cigar as he watched wandering Diamond Dogs in the distance. He didn't turn his head when he heard the sound of clinking spurs coming up behind him.

"I take it the chat with Miller didn't go too well." Ocelot asked, he smirked when all he got was a grunt in response. "Yeah, he can be stubborn."

"He always has been." Snake said quietly. "He's let a lot of things go in his life, but one thing he'll take to his grave is his pride." Snake watched the smoke glide through the air and get whisked away by the wind.

"I wouldn't give up so quickly if I were you. He's taken quite a liking to your _phantom_ after all." Snake turned to look at him, his face stayed emotionless, but a quick flash of confusion nearly ruined that. Ocelot just nodded towards something behind Snake. He turned a looked over the base, his eyes falling onto two men. His eye widened, at quick glance it looks as though they were lip locking. But upon closer inspection, they were just talking, mere inches away from each others faces. Kaz, and Snakes _phantom_ , lips almost touching as they spoke to one another. He didn't realise how stiff his body had gone until his cigar broke in half between his fingers.

"Shit..." He swore under his breathe. Ocelot just watched as he dropped his crumbling cigar to the floor and stomped it out.

"Something the matter, Boss?" The Russian asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," Snake glanced up at Ocelot then back to the two men. "Nothing at all." He felt he was trying to convince himself that more so than Ocelot. Ocelot saw straight through him, but didn't probe him any further. After a minute or two, V and Kaz seperated and walked in opposite directions of each other. Snake straightened up and made his way past Ocelot.

"Excuse me."

"Don't let me stop you." Snake made his way down the stairs, almost forgetting to pull his mask down. He made his way to where Kaz was. Luckily, he didn't really make it that far. He was in a doorway leading to the inside of one of the buildings.

"Miller." Snake called out, his voice slightly muffled by the mask. Kaz turned to look at him, but quickly turned back, continuing his way into the building. Snake caught up to him, trapping him between him and a wall.

"I have nothing to say to you." Kaz almost growled, get frustrated by his old friends presence.

"Good." Snake said after taking off his mask, he placed a hand on the wall, next to Kaz's head and leaned in, catching his lips. Kaz's eyes widened in response. He could almost feel him leaning in to kiss back, almost. Kaz pushed Snake away with his one hand.

"What are you--" He was interrupted by Snakes lips on his again, his tongue running along his bottom lip.

"I missed you." Snake breathed out.

"Go to Hell." Kaz managed to get out before Snake was on him again. Snake placed his hands on the sides of Kaz's head holding him there. Kaz was clawing at Snake's arm and chest. He could feel tears stinging at the corner of his eyes.

"I love you." Snake whispered against Kaz's lips. He removed Kaz's glasses and looked him straight in the eye. "I still do." Kaz looked calmer, and had stopped pushing at him. Snake stood up straight, confidant that Kaz will actually stay and listen to him. "I want you to come with me, to Zanzibarland. Be my second-in-command again. Do you still love me?"

Kaz stared at him, reaching forward to brush the hair away from Snake's face, stroke along his beard, down his neck, shoulder and arm, to grab his sunglasses. He placed them back on his face, pushing off of the wall. He brought his face closer to Snake's, as close as he was when he was speaking to Venom. Snake couldn't help the smirk appear on his face. Kaz breathed in...

"....Never."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't think of a better way to end this, sorry.  
> Oh god, my BBKaz feels. Why can't we go back to the Peace Walker days where we have cute dates on the beach and fuck in cardboard boxes? HUH KOJIMA!!?
> 
> I did plan out parts where BB reacted to Volgin and Quiet, but they didn't really fit into the story very well, so I had to cut them.  
> Did anyone else REALLY want to see Big Boss react to Volgin, the AI Pod, Strangelove's end and Eli? Because seeing Venom blankly stare at them wasn't really satisfying. Don't get me wrong, the game is fantastic, but the story left a lot to be desired. I guess that's why we write fanfictions, huh? hehe~
> 
> Please, someone give Kaz a medal, a hot chocolate and a hug, because God knows the poor fucker deserves it.


End file.
